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My Child  

Somewhere back in time we get lost
Patterns are formed and distorted memories are stored
These past remembrances direct our lives, and we lose our essence
That divine spark that we came in with at birth, dims and fades 
Creating veils of illusion in our psyche to keep secret our pain
Hiding behind the illusory masks we wear to bury our silent screams
Vacant stares into lifes mirror, afraid and unable to see the images there

At some point, we commence to live and recreate those memories as fact
Emulating the expectations, the beliefs of our parents and society
We repeat those unhealthy patterns, and mouth their innuendoes 
Legacies built on fear, worthlessness, abandonment, rage, and rejection
Monuments erected and dedicated to the entrapment of the human soul
Mirroring their fears, we begin to pass them on to our own loving children

   My child.....

  For the times you needed me and I was not there  .  .  . . . . forgive me

  For not being able to express my love, to hug or hold you  .  . forgive me 

  For the times you felt I abandoned or rejected you .  . .  .  . .forgive me

  For not listening, hearing or understanding your needs  .  .  .  forgive me

  For being too busy with my stuff and not honoring yours  .  . . forgive me

  For the silent tears you shed that I was never able to wipe.  .  forgive me

  For the loudness and inner anger of my own injured soul.  . . .forgive me

  For being the child when you needed a mother to hold you  .  forgive me

  For denying your lifestyle, wanting yours to fit in with mine  .  forgive me

  For expectations or demands of you that were too difficult  .  .forgive me

  For the times I have injured you by thought, word or deed  .   forgive me

  For being caught up in my own fears and not seeing yours  .  . forgive me

  For secrets kept behind closed doors and not sharing them  .  .forgive me

  For lies meant to shield you, when they were my shields  .  .   forgive me

  For comparing you to another, not valuing your uniqueness  .   forgive me

  For not setting good examples, or healthy guidelines for you  . forgive me

 Child of my heart, know that I love you wholly and unconditionally
The totality of love and tremendous joy 
I experienced when first I held you in my arms
Sealed you in my heart forever, 
I was overwhelmed and awed by your perfection
I was grateful to God for you then,

 I am grateful to God for you now

I rocked you and sang to you the love songs of a parent
This poem is once again my love song to you

       Forgive me . . . . for there is no need to carry my burdens any longer

          Free yourself . . . . . Create, sing and dance your own lifes song

                Then I can free and forgive myself . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Legacy Vision ] Namaste ] Whispers of the Soul ] Arizona ] [ MY CHILD ]

 

 

 

Shirley Catanzaro - delphian.7gen@cox.net